Everything Wrong With A Quiet Place In 13 Minutes Or Less

  • Published on: 2018-12-04
  • Platinum Dunes reading also the movie lets us know upfront we're gonna have to keep up with days and/or dates and times and just all that so the concept is if you make a sound the creatures immediately hear you and they attack and kill you knowing this how did it ever get to the point where anyone was ever able to put these signs up are you telling me these people didn't make any noises while doing this sure let your kid run unsupervised through this abandoned grocery store with all this shit on the floor I'm sure he's not clumsy enough to make any noise but in frolic so hard for kids to just be kids these days since they're getting eaten please notice the hearing aid no seriously please notice it man no one is very good at looting in this town even when there were enough people to loot the shit out of it there appears to be a lot of packages of candy and nuts available and there are still plenty of drugs behind the pharmacy counter I assume that's racist oh we F we go we totally trust our son not to pick that rocket back up and do what kids normally do which is to totally ignore their parents and take the rocket anyway first off the New York Post's front page would be more like president sounds off turn your sound off or Simon Says no one dude disturb the sound of silence or sound found to compound the frowns second off this newspaper basically says that the invasion was so advanced that they found out the problem was sound much too late to do anything about it yet the New York Post was still putting out newspapers as if fully staffed it's like they found out the problem was sound and then the creatures ate the entire headquarters of the New York Post on the same day yeah Reagan should know better than to give this kid a toy rocket and leave him behind with those tempting batteries Within Reach but our Evelyn and lean seriously not worried about where their two kids are they walked out of the store 15 seconds ago and despite the world of danger they're in nobody's bothered to check if the kids are still with them this is the absolute worst way to walk back home with your family in a world where the sound sensitive creatures are lurking everywhere you know if the kid who's most likely to cause trouble bringing up the rear of the single-file line out of sight of the parents it's a wonder he didn't get killed sooner also I'm wondering why everybody had to go on this trip anyway if the parents were just gonna let one of their kids run around the store without keeping an eye on him what difference would it have made if Reagan babysat this kid at home [Music] what exactly is the noise threshold here they're clearly making some noise when they're walking around there are popping leaves everywhere and I know they Yatta Yatta add some sand in but how could they possibly have gathered that much fucking sand to pull everywhere and how did they figure out how much noise they could make did they originally have like a family of ten and then lost a few when testing out theories kids now I've got to do King math to figure out how many days it's been since Bo died and that the Los Angeles Times would like everyone to know they can hear you also in this newspaper you can get the racing results because a very early racing was going on went out anyone at the track getting eaten during this time also I'm sure everything is being powered by a generator here what with The Electric Company probably not in business anymore but don't generators make noise even if you found a relatively quiet one wouldn't it produce more decibels than a toy rocket also also just think about how many people have died going outside to pick up a paper that was going to let them know how to survive and of course Evelyn's pregnant because movie how irresponsible of these fucking people how do they even have quiet sex like men are capable of having sex without sobbing loud or I mean so here also Evelyn's baby bunk brings up even more questions like how do you keep a baby quiet even if you put the baby in a soundproof room until you can communicate with it and teach it sign language you still have the problem of kids being kids especially in an age when they don't understand the gravity of the situation sure a kid would grow up learning sign language rather than speaking but then they'd have to learn how to move without making no noise and stifle all their crying and you still have the problem you have with rocket man earlier the kid could never go outside of that soundproof room for years totally get protecting yourself but those kids are going to make an awful lot of noise when they pass out and crash to the floor from all the glue fumes so do the creatures not have the ability to smell either because that fire is definitely not a great idea if they do the movie never says one way or another but surely hearing isn't their only sense fake floor fish problem with a movie that shows us a room this well lit is that you wonder why they ever needed a fucking Lantern close by this house is filled with electric lights all over the place so this Lantern is merely serving its purpose as an unnecessary troublemaker nearly impossible raccoons show up to be jump scurrying dicks just when Lee starts looking for creatures outside also who cares if this noise was a raccoon and not a creature wouldn't the creature come running after this furry dumbass as soon as he screeched outside kids how did he even acquire all this equipment how many electronic stores could be within walking distance and some of the stuff looks like you'd have to special order it Neil shadowing also I can see why this wooden staircase would need nails because there are places where nails are necessary but why the fuck is there a nail right in the middle of this step nowhere near anything that fastens the step to anything else on the staircase what exactly was this nail nailing diddly test this theory out himself one day I mean it makes sense that the waterfall would cover up the noise but why take a chance it should be noted that this girl who is hearing-impaired is looking straight ahead disregarding all those noisy crunchy leaves remember these kids are walking on their tippy toes around the house trying to make sure they don't make any noise but sure this girl can walk over leaves and not good kill what happened I would hope not it's been a whole 319 400 and math conveniently everyone is having their own little remember bone moment as Lea and Marcus are having their conversation it was no one's fault except that it was totally Reagan's fault I guess this movie thought you were bored so this random old guy will now scream about his dead wife so that we can see the creature do some murdering again kind of amazing it happened on the very day Lea took his son out in the woods for the first time oh wow Evelyn's water broke at a super inconvenient time that's surprising said no one do you so hard moving also tennis we're about to see one of these things walking around the house and these creatures have acute hearing but they can't hear a breaker switch being flipped also if these creatures have such acute hearing that they know exactly where a noise came from why isn't this thing already down here searching for its dinner also also this monster was very quiet when it entered the house does it use the front door instead of smashing through a window every single time these creatures attacked they were in full-on cue mode so it's kind of crazy that this creature was so polite even if it didn't bother a knock first Jesus how long are these assholes investigate sounds if their prey made a sound three minutes ago how do they hope to find it if it's not making noise anymore god dammit I knew those aliens from science would somehow figure into this farmhouse horror movie let this asshole up here Evelyn ran up the stairs while the creature was thrashing about in the basement so what did it here cool she gave birth during the fireworks that would cover up all the yelling and screaming for sure but how did she cut her own umbilical cord did she manage to take some scissors with her while she was running for her life also Evelyn's water broke like ten minutes ago she went through the quickest labor birth and getting the baby to sleep in the history of childbirth all because the movie wants her to live movies look guys I'm not gonna run silently out in the open when there are blind murder demons lurking about so instead I'll run much louder through the core can't be seen by those same murder demons who are blind and have awesome hearing I guess it's like steering into the skid when you're driving on ice yeah you didn't think about that did ya I mean the economic burden of having a third child of course you've been planning for a baby for nine months and couldn't figure out a proper door for your height a baby room I know you can't make a noise so stuff like hammering is out of the question unless you've got a bunch of fireworks to shoot off one day yeah well this baby in a box wearing an oxygen mask thing is definitely going to work for this movie but realize this would need to happen almost every day what let's give a conservative estimate of one and four chance that the creature shows up any time the baby makes noise that means a full quarter of your ear is hiding out down here with only a mattress between you and a bloodthirsty creature also this baby's going to have some traumatic childhood memories to get over hopefully there are some therapists left when he's older okay so we're being total dicks to this movie for no good reason it must be said that the use of sound and the lack thereof is amazing also any movie that is so tense that it makes assholes feel the need to be quiet in a theater is doing something right so we're going to remove five cents sure this ear thing is convenient as but at least it's not water that ends up being the Saviour Stillson for the convenience you're saying I can't hear us okay so now the movie is probably cheating on the amount of sound these creatures can hear from any random spot in the woods they can apparently hear a picture frame crash in a basement but they couldn't hear any of the noise down here because yeah yes sound proved it but you've got a mattress over the opening I agree mattresses could provide some sound proofing but we're talking about creatures with hearing ability that has 1053 percent better than humans congratulations that jump-scare just cost you your life oh wait it didn't damn half good of these creatures hearing again sure this water shows up right as Lee starts walking away and that's the movie's explanation for him not seeing it but how does it not hear it the thing Evelynn doesn't snore or make any other bodily noises when she sleeps speaking of which we could have a whole discussion on how this family trained themselves not to make any body noises while asleep here's some bolt right here earlier in this movie Lee and Marcus were yelling like a bunch of assholes behind a waterfall because it was safe but now that the creature is directly next to loud water he can hear she's half a mile away little known fact this movie was originally about killer corn and they decided to leave one with the scenes in WoW earlier even that door fell into the silo I thought that was terrible luck for Marcus as he almost got smashed by it but now I realize it was great luck because it's like the headboard and Titanic that saves well at least Rose I would have removed all the sins if he had pulled out some other person from the core like this is the perfect time for a Matt Damon cameo sure it would have ruined all the suspense but Matt David how the hell did this monster jump into the silo with only one opening into it that they were looking at without being seen and especially heard at least by Marcus you think this dick had climbed up a silo without making some noise does it no it's in the movie called a quiet place if they were sinking before getting on top of the broken silo door why are they not sinking now like they would sing right but the door would stay above the corner hey he left a nice human size hole to walk out of it sure was nice of him wait hasn't this movie broken its own rules these creatures are blind with super hearing but what exactly did Lee do here that attracted the attention of this thing and why was it sitting on the top of the shit anyway alien creature I got these big teeth and claws but I'd rather just sneak up on you when the movie needs suspense oh no the t-rex found lexan Tim dr. grant quick distracted with a road flare [Music] great moment at all but I guess this creature has a profound sense of drama to allow it to happen right after it heard a noise that usually causes an instant murder/death/kill man how upset is she gonna be when she realizes later if she just left her earpiece setting the way it was she could have saved her father I guess he's making a sacrifice and that's what's important here but I'm kind of surprised he didn't want to at least try to hit the monster with his axe but you know sometimes when you're playing Dark Souls he just realized it's impossible and give up Oh the creatures gone is it all over man it's great when someone can sacrifice themselves and all the creatures just leave wait that's not what happened then why are they risking all this emotion outside where there are still creatures lurking about look before I didn't say anything about Evelyn not doing anything about this nail because she was giving birth at the time and I hear that's a high stress event also she was being chased by murder aliens which is a close second to childbirth but now she's been safe in the house for a whole day and at the very least put a krylon cap over that thing so everyone knows where it is and can avoid it Regan does not know about the nail but as usual none of her parents love her enough to tell her that what exactly brought this thing here it make a sound yes these guys are sentient and can remember where they heard noises before and at least can make out that humans live around here but now this creature is just being a dick there's no reason for it to be here other than the movie needed a revelation about them at the end so it's not about to have a Keyser söze moment and save the day is she yep yes she is kinda hard to believe that the military or anybody who ever tried to shoot one of these things never found this easily detectable weak spot to kill them you might be thinking well they need the hearing aids feedback to weaken them before they expose the weak spot and I'm telling you this is not what the movie showed us earlier before Reagan started making noise ah you know what that means the security cameras are coming back online just in time for everyone to realize that there are more creatures coming and everyone can get in the classic hearing aid distraction any Oakley position I do love this ending we got some badasses in here remove a sin movie 30 inches of thigh slapping blood pumping nuclear brain damage [Music] where are they I will find him I promise I will never die [Music] dear Lord baby Jesus or as our brothers to the South call you hey Zeus we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's KFC and it always delicious Taco Bell I immediately regret this decision
  • Runtime: 13:32
  • a quiet place, horror, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, mistakes, review


  • Kyle Connor

    They should have set up radios or speakers around the area to lure them away or something

  • sapper72783

    Taco Tuesday is no more what's the point of living after that

  • Dax5

    The most overrated and stupid movie I have ever seen.

  • Amber xox

    Am I the only one wanting to know where Marcus is at the end? Like okay mum and sister are killing everyone in the basement but if he’s in any other part of the house he’s dead😂👏🏻

  • Mile

    Am I the ONLY person who HATES this movie?

  • Zorro del Demonio

    I was hoping for the kid to pull out a cut-off arm from the corn xD. I remember this happening in another movie, but I can't remember which one. I think it was one with piranhas or sharks XD.

  • Eric crow

    "I'll assume that's raciest" Lmfao! Got a good chuckle out of that one.

  • Spartan 336

    I would if loved go have seen how all this went down at the start with the military and things

  • FL3X

    Boi just get Ariana grande to sing in to a mic. The high pitch noise would expose the weak spot